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Everything is fresh and new here. This time we will get to face two opposing armies who want to grip the world with their unholy ways. The Russian Mafia and a band of Middle Eastern guys with guns want to take over and make everything unlivable. It's up to you to make the world safe for finger puppets again.
New Locales… is that what you want? Oh yeah, it's here. Art museums, airplane hijackings, and opera houses. Close and tight. The tension will surely build as you strut down the lean walkway of a jet and try to sneak up on the ringleader of a hijack situation. Forget the spaciousness of the oil rigs you liberated yesteryear. This time around, if you aren't wearing deodorant, the bad guys might just smell your fear as you walk slowly up to them and try to sneak a quick kiss before you blow out their kneecaps.
I bet you are wondering if there is any chance that you will get to try out some new moves. I mean, I know you were hating life when you found out that when you crouched your boys down you could not move forward. I hated that crap myself. Well this time, the soldiers will be schooled in the art of sneaking. When they bend down, they can move forward. All praise the advances of modern bootcamp. Do we get backflips or some crazy Matrix movie-style killin's. Who knows? But don't write it off just yet. Chavez has been working on his dexterity, and he might just try some odd stunt to pop that gimp with the AK-47.
What else can we look for? How about this: Snipers. Oh yeah. Forget that weak slew of electronics specialists that you used up last time. Snipers will be on hand for lots of cleaning before you send your teams in. This is good. I once lost a bunch of guys who didn't see the band of ruffians that were hiding behind the bushes eating ice cream. They were good men. And now their wives spend their Christmas' alone. Try consoling a bitter housewife, too much work for one man.
Did you ever use that wacky overview to see how your teams were doing? I didn't, but that is back, and this time you can also save your replays. You sick monkey, money says that you morbidly watch all of the death scenes and then go out and stuff yer face. Oh well, to each his own, right?
Now, if you are like me, you like a long, slow bowel movement and then a piece of ice to rub along the irritated sphincter to cool the burning. If that is the case, you will be lining up to get this game on the second day it comes out. Let those who are not bowel inflicted get it the first day. This time I am ready for the game; not like last year when I bought this just on a fluke. Anyway, buy this up. I got a full clip, and I will be hanging out at Mplayer waiting for you to show your ugly face. Forget about the whole world piece thing, I just want to shoot out your kneecaps and gimp you, buddy.
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